Grandma's

I had a bad day today. I didn't sleep well. I couldn't get through the first day of work since Rose died. Doing that normal everyday thing while she no longer exists was hard. I spent half a day at work and then went home. As soon as I got home I cried on the floor in the kitchen with the dog. She only cared about licking the tears of my face cause she likes salt.

Chandler and I went to the doctor tonight to get an official confirmation. Two positive pregnancy tests wasn't enough, we wanted to hear it from a doctor. We were so excited to hear a yes for sure. We were planning on telling our mom's on Mother's Day, but then we realized it's next weekend and not this weekend like we thought, and that's too long to wait. Plus, we could all use some uplifting right now. So, we got two cards that said something about Grandma and then signed it, "Love, Baby Matteucci". We were going to go to my mom's house but it turns out her and my dad were at the McDonald's just up the street from where we were with my niece and nephew. I called mom outside, she read the card and cried, called dad outside, he read the card and got very excited. I told my nephew Bubba he was gonna have a new cousin... he wasn't thrilled at all. Then we ran over to his parent's house and told them and they were equally as excited. It definitely cheered up my day. But of course as soon as I sat down at home, the grief hit me like a wrecking ball again. It passed quickly though. I can't believe i'm gonna do this without Rose. I want to do a gender reveal party. We would have planned it together, she would have made wonderful food, it would have been a great time. Same with a baby shower... i'm sad.