But if I was fearless...

As I guessed, last month would be a no go. But this month we're prepared. I'm fairly regular so I downloaded an ovulation app so I know when I'm fertile enough for us to do our thang. I'm excited about having a baby, telling my mom, starting our family.... Not so much about being pregnant. The one side effect of pregnancy that every human being knows about is morning sickness. And you may not know, as my husband didn't, it's not JUST in the morning. From what I hear, it's different for every woman, for every pregnancy. But the fact that it is a thing has me on edge. Simply put, I have a phobia about vomit. It causes probably about 75% of the anxiety I regularly deal with. I've spent a lot of time the last few months thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it and it makes me queasy just thinking about it. So, at this point I'm more terrified about being sick while I'm pregnant then I am about pushing a human being out of my vagina, which in itself is something out of a nightmare. I have little moments of mini anxiety attacks thinking about it. I'll go to great lengths to avoid someone I know who has a stomach virus. And now it's like I'm purposely wading into a vat of contagious vomit that's going to keep me sick for weeks or even months. My husband will say things like, "Well, that's pretty much a given." Thanks for the support, honey. Sometimes I'm gonna need to blatantly be lied to. I'm gonna need to be told things like, "That baby's just gonna slip out of you while you're sleeping and when you wake up, it'll be sitting next to you potty training itself and filling out college applications." I know it's not true, but sometimes in the moment, I need a lie or two. Not having kids yet doesn't mean I don't know what a wretched thing pregnancy and birth can be. I'm well aware! So, lie to me when I'm in panic mode.